Well. You are young, free, and a lady appeared on the horizon, when looking at whom a obstinate snake of the loneliness runs up to the neck. Lady is good, arrogant, impregnable, and pays no heed to you. You want badly to see the lady undressed. Well, at least in the home dressing gown to let the sawdust out. A she-goat, on which you can get to the right side to her, as ill luck would have it, does not arise. But a corporate party arises, where she will inevitably be. Even if the party does not regard you, you must be there. How - the case of fantasy. You can get acquainted with someone from her entourage, and you can come just without invitation, pretending strenuously that you are the most welcome guest there. Still, no one will understand, whose.
For the party buy a bouquet of roses. Not the most expensive, but necessarily the most thorny. Do not let bouquet slip out of hands even for a minute - it is the main object which is indispensable for the acquaintance.
The lady, certainly, is not deprived of attention. Next to her the steep file of men of various ages and status infinitely is. Don't let this discourage you. Keep closer to her, but do not need to take action. Still she will not notice, among a myriad numbers of admirers. Despite the bouquet. To make her to notice, you need to commit something unusual.
Do not worry, to dance naked on the table, to crow and stand head over heels you do not need.
Everything is simple. Fans are being cared, trying to please, - you just be alongside, not trying to please. You must look pensive and abstract, but do not forget about the bouquet.
And wait in the wings.
Attention! She is coming to the table. Those around give her a chair. Rush ahead and move aside the chair. Here your big time comes! She, of course, has fallen, angry, but remembered you! Therefore, she will start to look narrowly, burning with the desire to take revenge. The beginning initiated. Read more.
Thus, she fell. From fear you drop on her the bouquet of roses. Flowers will give incident a slight charm, and accordingly to physics law, will tear over-priced panty-hose. Should have to buy new one, that will be a reason for the next meeting. And then, it will enable sure the entire evening to be beside on the pretext of that the hole in the panty-hose must be concealed from the eyes of others.
Mask it actively and thoroughly, in depth, shield with back, snuggle up to leg and draw lady to the most distant corner, away from the eyes of rivals. Then, on the same pretext, offer to take her home. She will agree. For women there is nothing worse than to defile through the entire city with an arrow in the most visible place. (Agree that the legs are the most prominent!)
And here we are already leading her to car. Be sure to tell by the way several times that you do something the other way, you're badly hurry, in general - knickers, you do not need all this! As a result, she will feel obliged, despite the fact that the author of torn panty-hose were you. Furthermore.
Mind you don't open the door of car before her. She will immediately decide that you are ready to give up entire world to her legs. I know this exactly, I am the same. Instead, sit down in cold blood at your place and throw away dissatisfied:
- Well, what is? How soon? I am late!
Let her be messing about the latched door, losing her perky look. Can you imagine what it is a beautiful woman in torn tights, stupidly jumping in front of the car? I have not seen more absurd spectacle! I had been jumping myself! Drive offhandedly and with speed. With whistling at cornering. Let her squeal from fear, losing self-possession. A frightened woman - easy prey. The fine for speeding in this case - a disappointing trifle. What will be then, will compensate the loss of more than money!
Next. Take her to your home, suddenly remembered that you quite forgotten to feed the cat. It is necessary to have a cat. Better to borrow from the neighbor. He Will shout of desperation, which is quite get over the hungry roar. If she will be outraged and demand to immediately bring her home, charge her with hard-heartedness and cruelty to animals. Even if she hates the cats all the same will agree to go. Which women can accept the fact that she is a ruthless, selfish shrew?
Having arrived. The cat must have been shown necessarily, so drag her into the apartment. It is desirable that the apartment was on the twelfth floor, and the elevator did not work (you can arrange about with the lift-boy). Let her puff over, up the stairs. She will get tired and sweated, that will give you an excuse to offer her the bath. She will agree, because they do not want to look fright even before you. Mind you don't remove from the cache the candles and brandy until she takes a bath. Trite and boring. Give her your old bathrobe and push to the kitchen, explaining your actions that for the fifth month have dinner with ravioli from shop.
Let her cook the cutlets. Minced meat should to buy in advance. She will immediately understand that you are - a) bachelor, b) a hungry bachelor.
No woman in this case will remain indifferent. While she cooks cutlets, silently take the cat back to the neighbor, kit up in tricot (preferably torn) and slippers, and have a sit quietly in front of the TV with newspaper.
This initially so melts! Besides, it is a symbol of calm family life. Now, the cutlets are fried, eaten together and this is a crucial moment. Mind you don't hesitate, hum and haw and to mutter that it's too late, you have to go to work early morning, and therefore to sit at the wheel, nothing should be. She will understand misinterpreted and make off, not even demanding money for a taxi.
Just say with authority: - "It is time to sleep! Come on!" And then stand up and go to the bedroom. You will see, by inertia, she will follow you.
Well, in a bedroom act with lightning speed so that she could not come round and make off. And try to make sure that she does not fall asleep until morning. Don't give a damn for the work! Once you can!
Bidding farewell in the morning, casually kiss her cheek, murmur: "I'll call you", and disappear. For sure, now she will not forget! There is no a stronger impact in ambition! Gee whiz, to buy panty-hose at her own expense!
Mind you don't call immediately. Even if feel like, you should wait at least a week. Well, a couple of days, when even quite unbearable! And then, dialed number, casually say:
- I bought minced, would have to fry cutlets!
She will come flying like one o'clock. How can she condemn you for the cutletless existence?
That's all.
Have read? And now do everything within an accuracy of vice versa. Because all this -the right path to marriage. Personally, I did so get married.
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